[ The author of the following, David Marshall , gave me permission to post this on the Web, provided that I include it in full and do not edit it. Enjoy.... -- Ron Newman ] _________ Subject: ILL Connections Date: Fri, 09 May 1997 18:42:17 +0000 From: "David S. Marshall" Organization: Marshall Art Studio To: Cyber Access I can get/sent email, but as of 5pm today, I can't get on the Internet. When will this problem be solved? This is very irritating. dsm __________ Subject: Cyber Access Denied Date: Mon, 12 May 1997 19:35:49 +0000 From: "David S. Marshall" Organization: Marshall Art Studio To: Cyber Access It's 7:30pm on Monday, May 12, 1997. Since 5:00pm last Friday, it has been impossible to send or retrieve email, browse the web or send attached files to my clients. Since my business is creating electronic art for a variety of publishers who have email, I depend on internet access to email artwork every day (including this weekend.) Therefore, this unexpected detachment has been chaotic. If you can't dependably provide the services you advertise, then what the hell am I paying you for? Today, for instance, was my deadline to deliver finished art to a client in Framingham. With no 'net access, I had to drive all the way to Framingham and back this afternoon. Fucking pain in the ass. What response do I get from the Cyber Access network of know-it-alls? Silence for Saturday and Sunday. A taped outgoing message on your answering machine on Monday morning. No human contact, not one sign of respect or professional courtesy. You guys may be really smart when it comes to computers (although this weekend didn't exactly gain you any credibility in that category), but you're definitely retarded when it comes to commerce and customer relations! Since May of last year, I have been a faithful, loyal customer of Cyber Access. Indeed, I have also given you at least two other clients, because your service, for the most part, has been wonderfully bland. But the few times there has been trouble in paradise, your vendor-to-customer response has been lacking. As a Macintosh user, I believed your statements of your Macintosh platform capabilities. Yet every time there was a technical problem, I always had to solve the problem myself. Since I am not a tech support specialist, this took up a lot of my time. (Sorry, Augustine, but in this case you were useless.) In addition, when I then offered you the updated shareware I eventually found (PPPop 1.2, Mac TCP/IP 1.1.1 for PowerMac compatibility), I then had to hound you to get a free month of service. In general, your disaster response to your customers has been dreadful. You don't answer the telephone, return phone calls or email, you don't offer free time for customers who save your ass, and you don't inform us about the screwups. It looks like you don't think of us as people very much. If you did, you would be a lot more forthcoming, respectful and informative. At worst, it looks like the only use you have for us is taking our money. In this last disaster, the damage control message on your answering machine is not satisfactory: I want more than just a taped apology. For starters, I want answers! Why the hell is it taking this long for you to address this problem? I can see an hour or two of service interruption, but FIVE FUCKING DAYS?!! Was working on the weekend too much to ask? Not it my business, it ain't. Speaking of business, I want another free month of access for putting up with this bullshit! This whole internet thing isn't just some leisure time activity; I send artwork, bills and download text every day. This is something I need in order to generate income, so that I can pay you to take my money and disrespect me in times of crisis. But lastly, what I really want is a detailed explanation -- in writing -- of not only this screwup, but also of what your plans are to assure us customers that this nonsense will never happen again. This five-day (so far) interruption of service is more than just "inconvenient." It is expensive, time-consuming and unacceptable. With a million other ISPs out there, I want a reason to keep supporting you. David Marshall __________ Subject: ILL Connection Date: Wed, 14 May 1997 09:34:05 +0000 From: "David S. Marshall" Organization: Marshall Art Studio To: Cyber Access Alright. It's 9:30am on Wednesday. Internet access seems okay, but now I am shut out of my email box. You know, the one that's been building up since Friday? As usual, I can't reach on the telephone. What's up? dsm __________ Subject: ILL Notice Date: Wed, 14 May 1997 19:50:11 +0000 From: "David S. Marshall" Organization: Marshall Art Studio To: Cyber Access Here is the text to something I faxed you an hour ago. Please bear in mind that I still have no idea where a weeks worth of email is. I mean every word: CYBER ACCESS INTERNET COMMUNICATIONS 422 Salem St. Suite #152 Medford, MA 02155 876-5660 phone 497-1582 fax Dear Cybercom.net: Your internet and email services shut down last Friday (May 9) afternoon, and have yet to be fully restored. According to the outgoing message on your own answering machine , service would be fully operational by Tuesday afternoon, May 13. Sadly, as of today’s writing, this is not the case. While I can browse the web, I am still shut off from my email. During the entire time of this crisis, Cyber Access has not responded to any of the phone calls or email I’ve sent in an attempt to discover just when, how -- or if -- you would ever solve this critical problem. In this information vacuume, as of this very moment, I no longer have any confidence in Cyber Access’ ability or competence in dealing with this “inconvenience.” Even if I can properly access mail.cybercom.net by tomorrow (May 15) morning, I still want you to immediately stop using my credit card for billing purposes; I’ll pay with a mailed, monthly paper check instead. If you do not send me specific information -- or better yet, full operational service -- by noon tomorrow, then I feel I have no other alternative than to close my account with Cyber Access. Sincerely David S. Marshall __________ Subject: ILL Cancelled Date: Thu, 15 May 1997 20:33:20 +0000 From: "David S. Marshall" Organization: Marshall Art Studio To: Cyber Access Dear Cyber Access: I hereby cancel my internet service account with Cyber Access, effective immediately. The recent service interruption, combined with your apparent indifference to the concerns of us paying customers, makes it impossible to believe this nonsense couldn't happen again. I drove to 422 Salem Street this afternoon, hoping to speak with someone employed by Cyber Access, sign any closing paperwork and get any old email from last weekend. Imagine my surprise to find out that address is merely a mailbox rental. Ha ha. Since your phones are still no being answered, this notice will be faxed, mailed and emailed to your office today. David Marshall Marshall Art Studio (formerly illdave@cybercom.net) _________ Date: Wed, 04 Jun 1997 23:26:19 +0000 From: "David S. Marshall" Reply-To: illdave@shore.net Organization: Marshall Art Studio To: rnewman@theCIA.net Subject: ILL with Augustine Something I sent to my friends a while ago: My Meeting with Augustine (More Cyber Access Blues) May 23, 1997 Hey! I just came back from Cyber Access today. No, I didn't engage in any actionable acts of violence. Temptation was strong. But that's getting ahead of myself. The building itself is unremarkable, and looks a little rundown. One of those little office structures on Mass Ave. Dentists, laywers, notary publics. You get the point. I knock on the Cyber Access door, and this tense voice bleeps out a barely audible "who is it?" I announce my name and he lets me in. Augustine stands about 5'8", can't be any older than 25. White dude, shoulder-length blond hair pinned back in a pony tail. Expressionless face. Monotone voice. He was alone. The office itself, however, was the real story. Dark, food wrappers, wires and plaster all over the floor. Pornagraphers have better-kept offices. I asked him if Cyber Access closed my account, as I instructed them to do last week. After all, I still didn't hear anything from them since their BIG CRASHDOWN. He says "oh yeah, we got all your messages." Terrific, I thought. All that stuff I wrote about them needing to respond to their customers didn't faze St. Augustine a bit. When I told him that if he "sent me any notice of receiving my message, I wouldn't be here in the office now." At this point, I wondered if a smack in his nuts would change that facial expression. Once he allowed me to have Cyber Access forward all my old email to my new address, I just had to interview the BIG A. Here, then, is the Gospel According to Saint Augustine: 1. He knows there's a nasty rumor about them being bankrupt. Utterly false, although a lot of people owe Cyber Access a lot of money. 2. The reason they went offline is that they were planning to convert from MCI-driven T1 lines to ISDN. When the finances for the ISDN didn't work, MCI wouldn't take them back. [Right.] 3. Addressing the needs of 1,500 small customers is pointless. He'd rather respond to the 30 big clients. Although, according the email that I've received in the past two weeks, he ain't exactly inclined to feel their pain, either.] I'm sure there's more shit, but that's all I remember now. 4. Sending a global email to all their clients would be premature. After all, despite their best-laid [two words I would never associate with Augustine] plans, there is still no concrete plan for getting back online. 5. Every other employee has abandoned ship. Augustine says he sticks around "because of all this equipment I can use for my benefit." [Nice to see such selflessness in action, particularly with my money on the line.] Speaking of now, it's now 4:30pm on a cold but sunny Friday afternoon. Time to enjoy this Memorial Day weekend. Of course, there is A LOT to tell you upon your return. dsm