Newsgroups:
alt.religion.scientology,comp.org.eff.talk,alt.activism,alt.censors hip
From: henri@netcom.com (henry)
Subject: SAVE HENRY'S ASS
Date: Fri, 27 Oct 1995 14:31:55 GMT

As you may be aware, on October 5, the wanted felon
Gene Ingram slithered into town with a pack of lies
and talked with the State College police of PA, and
filed a trumped-up criminal charge against me for
"terroristic threats" he claimed I had made on April
11, consisting of the phrase "BLOW UP YOUR LOCAL
CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY TODAY!" I naturally deny
this. The entire thread in which the so-called
"bomb threat" occurred is available at
http://nyx10.cs.du.edu:8001/~anon2c9e/forgery
and the statute under which I may be prosecuted,
as taken from Purdon's Consolidated Statutes for
PA, is available at http://nyx10.cs.du.edu:8001/~anon2c9e/threat,
as are related statutes.

Shortly thereafter, the State College police came to
my job at AccuWeather and produced a sheaf of my posts.
I was fired on the spot.

Gene Ingram had already left town to harass Edward Lottick,
father of a cult victim whose suicide was documented in the
Time article "The Thriving Cult of Greed and Power,"
an article which spawned the Fishman-Geertz lawsuit and
can thus be seen to be connected with the current
conflict. Apparently, he posed as a Medicaid official.

This is the situation. I have been suddenly left with
no resources whatever nor any way to do so much as pay
my rent. I was really hoping not to be forced into
this, but--you guessed it--I'm going to hit you up
for money at this point.

Here's the address, suitable for .siggifying, tossing
onto web pages, or just scrawl it on a scrap of
paper:

Make out check or money order to:
Robert W. Clark
P. O. Box 222
State College, PA 16804-0222

Please write "SAVE HENRY'S ASS" in the memo field of the check.

The Save Henry's Ass Movement (SHAM) is _not_ a defense fund.
It is _not_ a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization, and therefore
donations will _not_ be tax-deductible. In fact, it isn't
even an organization. It's just a name I made up. It seemed
like a good idea at the time.

You may, if you wish such to be known, provide your name,
address and phone number. However, as you may know, it
is probably safer to send it anonymously. Nevertheless,
you will all have my gratitude. I may think of something
to send to hundred dollar donators or something, maybe a
tear-stained certificate of slack or something, but I
can't quite work up to the cheesiness of that quite yet.

Give me time.

Money sent to this fund will be used to meet the immediate
needs of paying rent and keeping the electricity on and food
in my refrigerator. It may even buy me a pack of cigarettes.
I might even use it to buy peanut butter, if I'm required to
dodge the draft any time soon.

If I am indicted based on this crippled dog of a case it
will at that point become a defense fund, and perhaps even
a 501(c)(3) organization. If I am not, and this emergency
passes, any excess funds, should such exist, will be recycled
preferably to a 501(c)(3) organization which I believe would
be a good idea for someone who knows about such things to
create.

Such an organization would serve as an umbrella fund for
the defense of any other persons harassed by the criminal
cult, and cover incidental expenses concomitant to such
harassment. However, the position I'm in makes me rather
less than a credible founder of this organization. It
needs to be founded by someone who is not in legal hot
water themselves and funds controlled by a Board of
Directors of impeccable credibility.

Should such a 501(c)(3) organization not exist, I'll split
it up at my own discretion between any such defense funds
as still exist. My own emergency situation may be transitory,
but repercussions will no doubt continue for some time.

I know I'll find it rather difficult to explain to any
local employers precisely why there's a big black spot
on the last year or so of my history, despite having
performed all my duties of employment. Even my letter of
discharge does not state any duty which I failed to
perform.

In any case, I will let the following testimonials for
this fund attest to the excellence of my character.

- - ---
"Can't you see he's a CON-MAN? This henry person is obviously
a psychopath, a pathological liar, and a career criminal. Don't
you know about how he got out of gym class by dressing in a
cheerleader's outfit, smearing his hair with Smucker's strawberry
jelly and singing 'I'm a Little Teapot?' Don't you?
ARRRRRGH! ARS BIGOTS PERSECUTE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY!"

-- Rick "ferSure" Wood

"Even as a child, he was already precocious in a taste for
crime. Already prescribed the pernicious psych drug Ritalin,
it was obvious to all that this child would come to no
good end. You see before you now the culmination of the
psychiatric atrocity."

-- A. A. Milne, author of "Winnie the Shrink"

"Not only that, I hear he's FAT. Real fat! When he
sits around the house, he SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!"

-- Virulena Wallace

- - ---
As this glowing praise makes easily apparent, I am obviously
of sterling character, a fine person and all that, so
SEND ME YOUR MONEY! PLEASE! An eight-hundred mile-high
L. Ron Hubbard appeared to me in a dream last night and
said he'd "sell me to the Marcabs" if I didn't get
LOTS OF MONEY REAL SOON!

Make out check or money order to:
Robert W. Clark
P. O. Box 222
State College, PA 16804-0222

Please write "SAVE HENRY'S ASS" in the memo
field of the check.

- - --
I thank you. The Net thanks you. Xenu thanks you.

(Lest my levity make you think otherwise, I'll state
on the record that the situation is actually pretty
serious. I just refuse to _take_ it that way. If
I did, I'd go nuts.)